Why Giving Yourself Ultimatums Will Never Motivate You to Change

why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change

By nature, people do not like ultimatums. They are threatening, limiting, and just plain passive aggressive.

So, imagine how terrible it is when you give yourself one ultimatum, or worse, many.

For some people — especially perfectionists and black and white thinkers — giving ultimatums is a way of life. Even though it may seem like ultimatums are a motivational tool they are very self-destructive.

I know because I used to give myself ultimatums.

Frequently.

It was part of my “all or nothing” thinking. Either I was going to get “x,” or I’d never get “y” .

In fact, here are some examples of ultimatums I used to give myself on a regular basis.

“Either this guy is “the one,” or I’m through with dating.”
“Either I get this promotion, or I’m quitting.”
“Either I stick to this diet, or I’ll be a failure forever.”

Those are all pretty threatening, limiting, and passive aggressive, right?

So, why would I do this to myself?

Why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change

When I would propose these scenarios to myself, I was literally retaliating against myself.

By only ever give myself the choice between complete success or total failure, I would unconsciously attack myself. I wouldn’t just limit the action itself as a success or failure; I would confine myself to being a complete success or total failure if I didn’t receive a desired outcome.

Do You Give Yourself Ultimatums? #SelfHelp #Coaching #Mediation #Happiness #MentalHealth #StressRelief Click To Tweet

The problem with this way of thinking was that when I was only giving myself one of two possible outcomes — I always placed every problem 50% against myself.

With those odds, I wound up struggling between the demands I had placed on myself and the results of those requirements. This is where my inner conflicts began, and one of the ways to fight internal conflicts is to start allowing yourself to have more than two options when you desire a specific outcome for yourself — or others.

One of the ways to fight internal conflicts is to start allowing yourself to have more than two options when you desire a specific outcome for yourself — or others Click To Tweet

Instead of declaring, “Either this guy is “the one, or I’m through with dating,” I began saying things like, “Perhaps, I’m not what he is looking for, but that’s okay.  I’m now one step closer to finding someone who thinks I’m amazing – so, really this is progress.”

Positioning the relationship prospect as being only a success or a complete failure, provided the potential for only adverse outcomes – and put way more pressure on myself (and potential) suitors

My expectations were setting me up for disappointment 99% of the time.

I learned that changing the way I placed my expectations (and allowing for a range of possibilities) created higher odds for positive results.

Also, I’m now happily married, so I’m quite happy I gave myself more options!

I know it can be tough to stop giving yourself ultimatums and creating unnecessary inner conflicts.

Remember, there is no reason to be more demanding of yourself than anyone else would be of you.

And, really, there is no need for anybody to be that demanding of you in the first place!

Be kind to yourself.  Always.

If you are interested in working with me on ways you can make lasting and positive behaviour changes, send me an email and don’t forget to subscribe to receive new posts via email!

A Great Tool for Finding Current Pinterest Trends

tool for finding Pinterest trends _ erin's life bites

In an ever-changing world, it seems impossible to know what’s new, relevant, or on its way out.  When it comes to social media and content, it seems like trends can change within a 24-hour window.

And that’s because sometimes they do.

Brands who are taking advantage of Pinterest Business (which, if you’re not, you should start right now) want to find the best and most relevant pins to add to their boards and share with their audience.  

With millions of people pinning and repinning, it can seem nearly impossible to stay on trend with board topics and pins, but there are some useful tools within the Pinterest platform that can help to take some of that guesswork out of the equation.

It’s great to know which days of the week are best for pinning specific categories, but this tool for discovering Pinterest trends can also help to shape your content schedule.  By knowing what people are searching for within your niche, you can work fast to serve their need with great content and captivatingly designed pins!

A Great Tool for Finding Current Pinterest Trends #pinterestmanagment #brandgrowth #socialmedia Click To Tweet

A great tool for finding current trends on Pinterest

On the Pinterest blog, you can find loads of news and information about everybody’s favorite virtual corkboard.  Reading the Pinterest blog is an excellent way to stay in the know the things people are buzzing about the most.

Using the Explore Trending tool gives you an itemised menu of categories and links to find the current trends on Pinterest.  Whether you are looking for fashion trends or accessories for your smartphone, you will find what’s new and what’s hot by searching this great tool.

Have you ever tried out the Explore Trending tool on Pinterest?

Making the Most of Your Pinterest Analytics

how to make the most out of your Pinterest analytics _ Erin's Life Bites

So, you’ve set up your Pinterest Business account and are actively pinning, creating boards, and sharing content.  It’s been a week (or three), and now, you want to know how your efforts are paying off, right?

Knowing and understanding your Pinterest analytics gives you valuable insight and guidance.

There are three types of Pinterest analytics, but today we will be going over Pinterest profile analytics.

There are four sections to your Pinterest profile analytics metrics.

  • Impressions
  • Shares (Repins)
  • Clicks
  • All-Time

Impressions:  An impression is the number of times a Pin from your profile appears on Pinterest home feeds, category feeds, and searches.  Your average monthly viewers are the number of times anyone has seen your Pin from their home feed.

How does understanding your impressions analytics enable you to make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

The Pins that have the most impressions represent the things that people are regularly searching.  Knowing which pins and their categories can help you to save and share similar Pins, which will, in turn, help you to grow your reach on Pinterest and convert a larger audience.

Shares (Repins):  The number of times a person saves your Pins to their boards.

How does understanding your shares analytics enable you to make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

When you can see which Pins are being saved and shared the most, you can determine what your audience finds most interesting about your boards and content.  Knowing which Pins perform best can help you understand how to post similar relevant content from your blog or website as well as what to share with others to keep your audience coming back.

Clicks:  The number of clicks Pins on your profile have received.

How can understanding your clicks analytics help you make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

HOW Pinterest CAN GROW YOUR BLOG

By knowing which of your Pins receive the most clicks, you can determine which content other people want to learn more.   Again, when you know which content is performing the best, you can curate similar content from others as well as cater your content to serve the demands of your audience.

All-time:  The all-time analytics page includes several aspects of your metrics including:

  • The most saved Pin on your page since the beginning of your Pinterest account.
  • Pins which performed best in search, or, Pins which rank high in searches
  • Pins which have the most meaningful engagement; using a combination of data based on likes, comments, sends shares, etc.

How can understanding your all-time analytics help you make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

How to make the most of your Pinterest profile analytics #socialmedia #digitalmarketing #pinteresting Click To Tweet

Looking at the big picture of which Pins have performed best from the start of your Pinterest account can help you to improve the quality of your pins including improved descriptions with high-quality keywords, the use of Rich Pins and providing strong links to the content you’re looking to share.

Have you checked out your Pinterest Profile Analytics information lately?  Where can you make some improvements?  What is working for your right now?

Sources used for this article.

Diaphragmatic Breathing For A Stronger Core and Pelvic Floor Muscles

Benefits of Diaphragmatic Breathing _ Erin's Life Bites

Diaphragmatic breathing strengthens core and pelvic floor muscles

It’s probably not the hottest topic of conversation, but many women – particularly new Mums – struggle with weak core and pelvic floor muscles.  And the side effects of a weak core and pelvic floor muscles can be very frustrating when starting out a new fitness regimen.

Weakened core and pelvic floor muscles can also lead to back pain, and poor sleeping exacerbates pressure, specifically of the lower back and excessive lifting, bending and squatting motions.

Why diaphragmatic breathing is important

Mums are regularly lifting and turning every day, and the loads get heavier as time goes on, so a strengthening up your back’s support system (the core, hips, and pelvic floor muscles) is a must.

Although it is best to speak with your doctor about a which muscles are needing some fine tuning, there are some basic pelvic floor muscles strengthening exercises that can help strengthen not only your pelvic floor region but also the lower back and core.

Before starting the exercises, it is imperative to master proper diaphragmatic (or abdominal) breathing techniques as they are essential for correct form, increased coordination, and to prevent injury.  The proper breathing technique will not only help to strengthen the muscles but will also serve as an excellent time for relaxation and mental clarity.

Some additional health benefits of diaphragmatic breathing include:

  • Improved circulation
  • Increased respiratory fitness
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Reduced anxiety and stress levels
  • Improved core and pelvic floor muscle function

Start on your back with a pillow supporting your head and keeping your knees bent at a 90-degree angle.  Place one hand on your lower rib cage and upper abdomen and the other hand on the lower rib cage.

Breathing in slow and deeply,  feel your belly rise to meet your hand – breathing into the abdomen.  To breathe out properly, exhale and feel the rib cage return to a resting position.  Once you begin to master the breathing technique you can remove your hands and place them at your side to breathe on your own.

Benefits of Diaphragmatic Breathing for a Stronger Core and Pelvic Floor Muscles #WomensHealth #Coach #Core Click To Tweet

Start by practising this breathing technique for one minute and build up to 3-5 minutes.  As well, once this breathing technique is mastered, you should begin to add in performing this method in an upright, seated position

Here is a video showing the technique and some of the benefits of diaphragmatic breathing for strengthening the core muscles.  (via TheBelleMethod)

This breathing technique is beneficial anyone struggling with a weakened core and pelvic floor muscles, not just mums.  However, if you’re a new mum, it is always wise to check with your physician to be you are ready for any and exercises you perform.

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Have you tried out diaphragmatic breathing techniques?  If so, have they helped you?

**This post was originally featured on RowdyRoddy.com

5-Move Agility Workout

five move agility workout _ erin's life bites

When it comes to an effective workout, many people believe they must go out and buy loads of pricey boutique fitness equipment items.  But the truth is, many items you likely already own can help you get in a fast and fun workout that can also bring you great results and the following agilit workout can deliver them!

You may have seen, heard of or even tried a workout using a “medicine ball” as they are a popular (and affordable) piece of exercise equipment to own.

However, many of the moves traditionally performed with a medicine ball can also be carried out using a football, and they will still get you a great workout.  Chances are you have a football kicking (pun intended) about somewhere at home!

Workouts using equipment like medicine balls are known as agility-based exercises.

What is agility?

Agility is the ability to change the body’s position while incorporating skills such as balance, coordination, speed, reflexes, and strength.   Adding in 2-3 days per week of agility circuits will keep your muscles engaged, metabolism boosted and boredom squashed.

Fast-paced, fun workouts — like the five-move circuit I am sharing with you today — are perfect for those of you who like to keep your workouts fun and challenging.

You may be curious how the use of a football fits into a workout that increases balance, coordinatio, and encourages strength?  Exercises performed using a football will allow you to control the force (strength + speed) of each movement you complete.  In other words:  If you throw your ball at an eight, you will also have to react to the ball at an eight as well.  In this way, you can customise and build up your speed, strength, and coordination each time you complete the moves.

Erin's Life Bites | Workouts
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When it comes to making the most out of a movement, quality beats out quantity!

5 Move Agility Football Workout

  1. Ball Pushups (via LiveStrong Woman)
  2. Alternating Rotational Ball Throws (via Redefining Strength/giphy)
  3. Sit-Up with Ball Toss (via ThriveTraining)
  4. Weighted Ball Squat Throws (via Jenn DeBeers)
  5. Alternating Ball Chest Fly (via FITASTIC)

For best results, perform these moves 2-3 days per week, performing 2-3 sets of 12 reps per exercise.

As a bonus, this is also a great workout to include the kids (or a partner!) if you don’t have access to a wall for your throws.  

Want to mix things up with your workout today? Try this 5 Move Agility Workout!  #hiit #workout #fitness Click To Tweet

Time for kick-off!

Do you try to improve your agility during your weekly workout sessions?