3 Steps For Finding A Silver Lining (In Any Situation)

3 STEPS FOR FINDING THE IN ANY


Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

Buddha

What’s an attitude of gratitude? It’s living your life from the perspective of appreciating what you have instead of focusing on what you do not. You may hear this phrase when people talk about an ‘abundance’ mindset vs. one of ‘scarcity’.

We all struggle with finding positive value in the shitty things that happen in our lives. Believe me, this is something I have struggled with my entire life. In fact, I remember when I was 29 years old I had a terribly toxic boss and suffered with so much anxiety. One day I was helping the HR director – telling her about how tough my prior year had been after losing my job, health insurance, and a personal financial crisis and that things, “couldn’t get much worse.” Naturally, her reply was, “Love, if there is anything I know in this life it is that things surely get better but they can definitely get worse.”

She was right, less than two years later my father was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and passed away. Things can definitely get worse.

via GIPHY

Believe it or not, as much as I miss my father – I learned so much about life helping to care for him during his illness and in losing him. Of course, I would trade anything to have him back, but I also don’t know if I would be the person I am right now – typing this blog – if I didn’t go through one of the worst things a person can endure, the loss of a parent.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." – Buddha Click To Tweet

A major lesson I have learned in all of my professional training is how find a way to utilise all of my losses and failures as a way to make the path for the hope of better things to come.

via GIPHY

We’ve all had times in our lives where something we’ve put a lot of ourselves into didn’t work out.  There are not enough words to describe the negative emotions we feel when this type of rejection or loss occurs, not to mention what it does to our motivation and self-esteem.

The truth is, we can learn to internalise and these negative experiences and transform the energy associated with them into positive choices and new directions.

3 Steps For Finding A Silver Lining In Any Situation

  1. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?”  Maybe you’ve lost your job, ended a significant relationship, or found out some crappy news in general.  Regardless of which end of the spectrum an event is perceived to be on, there’s always something to be learned — whether it’s about yourself, another person, or situation.  Maybe the lesson you learned is that you have to be more or less trusting.  Maybe the lesson you learned is that you didn’t feel happy in the job you lost (I’ve so been there on this one)!  Maybe the lesson you learned is that you need to take better care of yourself or start making your well-being a priority. Or even that you need to tell the people you care about how special they are more often. Choosing to take a bad situation and turn it into a lesson learned will enable you to grow emotionally and spiritually.
  2. Ask yourself, “What am I able to do now that I wasn’t able to do before?”  In any situation, your opportunities will change.  Try to focus on how this opportunity will give you the ability to do something (or many things) you weren’t able to do before.  What skills did you gain from your last job?  If you’re out of a relationship or toxic friendship what time — more importantly energy — do you have to now devote to something that will make you happier, stronger, and more fulfilled?  Maybe now you’re more able to speak up for yourself and communicate what you do and don’t want out a relationship/friendship.  There is no way that you have not gained the ability to do something bigger and better today that you couldn’t have done yesterday.  Discover this, rebuild and go forward.
  3. Ask yourself, “Do I have perspective?”   Not to belittle yourself or your struggles, but if you can step back from any situation and answer yes to any, some, or all of the following, you’ve got a lot to be thankful for:
    Do I have my health?
    Do I have a place to live?
    Do I have clothes on my back?
    Do I have food to eat?
    Do I have a support system and people whom I love, and that love me?

While some of these things may seem basic and not like much to celebrate, take some time to appreciate each and every item you answered yes to. Being able to truly appreciate all that you do have – right now – is the biggest silver lining of all. Well that and giving back to others who are struggling with something that you may take for granted is one of the most powerful exercises in gratitude out there.

Practicing an attitude of gratitude is all about appreciating everything for what it is right now, and sometimes that means choosing to be content with all the silver (grey) events.

Do you look for the silver lining in bad situations?  How do you practice an attitude of gratitude?

Why Giving Yourself Ultimatums Will Never Motivate You to Change

why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change

By nature, people do not like ultimatums. They are threatening, limiting, and just plain passive aggressive.

So, imagine how terrible it is when you give yourself one ultimatum, or worse, many.

For some people — especially perfectionists and black and white thinkers — giving ultimatums is a way of life. Even though it may seem like ultimatums are a motivational tool they are very self-destructive.

I know because I used to give myself ultimatums.

Frequently.

It was part of my “all or nothing” thinking. Either I was going to get “x,” or I’d never get “y” .

In fact, here are some examples of ultimatums I used to give myself on a regular basis.

“Either this guy is “the one,” or I’m through with dating.”
“Either I get this promotion, or I’m quitting.”
“Either I stick to this diet, or I’ll be a failure forever.”

Those are all pretty threatening, limiting, and passive aggressive, right?

So, why would I do this to myself?

Why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change

When I would propose these scenarios to myself, I was literally retaliating against myself.

By only ever give myself the choice between complete success or total failure, I would unconsciously attack myself. I wouldn’t just limit the action itself as a success or failure; I would confine myself to being a complete success or total failure if I didn’t receive a desired outcome.

Do You Give Yourself Ultimatums? #SelfHelp #Coaching #Mediation #Happiness #MentalHealth #StressRelief Click To Tweet

The problem with this way of thinking was that when I was only giving myself one of two possible outcomes — I always placed every problem 50% against myself.

With those odds, I wound up struggling between the demands I had placed on myself and the results of those requirements. This is where my inner conflicts began, and one of the ways to fight internal conflicts is to start allowing yourself to have more than two options when you desire a specific outcome for yourself — or others.

One of the ways to fight internal conflicts is to start allowing yourself to have more than two options when you desire a specific outcome for yourself — or others Click To Tweet

Instead of declaring, “Either this guy is “the one, or I’m through with dating,” I began saying things like, “Perhaps, I’m not what he is looking for, but that’s okay.  I’m now one step closer to finding someone who thinks I’m amazing – so, really this is progress.”

Positioning the relationship prospect as being only a success or a complete failure, provided the potential for only adverse outcomes – and put way more pressure on myself (and potential) suitors

My expectations were setting me up for disappointment 99% of the time.

I learned that changing the way I placed my expectations (and allowing for a range of possibilities) created higher odds for positive results.

Also, I’m now happily married, so I’m quite happy I gave myself more options!

I know it can be tough to stop giving yourself ultimatums and creating unnecessary inner conflicts.

Remember, there is no reason to be more demanding of yourself than anyone else would be of you.

And, really, there is no need for anybody to be that demanding of you in the first place!

Be kind to yourself.  Always.

If you are interested in working with me on ways you can make lasting and positive behaviour changes, send me an email and don’t forget to subscribe to receive new posts via email!

A Great Tool for Finding Current Pinterest Trends

tool for finding Pinterest trends _ erin's life bites

In an ever-changing world, it seems impossible to know what’s new, relevant, or on its way out.  When it comes to social media and content, it seems like trends can change within a 24-hour window.

And that’s because sometimes they do.

Brands who are taking advantage of Pinterest Business (which, if you’re not, you should start right now) want to find the best and most relevant pins to add to their boards and share with their audience.  

With millions of people pinning and repinning, it can seem nearly impossible to stay on trend with board topics and pins, but there are some useful tools within the Pinterest platform that can help to take some of that guesswork out of the equation.

It’s great to know which days of the week are best for pinning specific categories, but this tool for discovering Pinterest trends can also help to shape your content schedule.  By knowing what people are searching for within your niche, you can work fast to serve their need with great content and captivatingly designed pins!

A Great Tool for Finding Current Pinterest Trends #pinterestmanagment #brandgrowth #socialmedia Click To Tweet

A great tool for finding current trends on Pinterest

On the Pinterest blog, you can find loads of news and information about everybody’s favorite virtual corkboard.  Reading the Pinterest blog is an excellent way to stay in the know the things people are buzzing about the most.

Using the Explore Trending tool gives you an itemised menu of categories and links to find the current trends on Pinterest.  Whether you are looking for fashion trends or accessories for your smartphone, you will find what’s new and what’s hot by searching this great tool.

Have you ever tried out the Explore Trending tool on Pinterest?

Making the Most of Your Pinterest Analytics

how to make the most out of your Pinterest analytics _ Erin's Life Bites

So, you’ve set up your Pinterest Business account and are actively pinning, creating boards, and sharing content.  It’s been a week (or three), and now, you want to know how your efforts are paying off, right?

Knowing and understanding your Pinterest analytics gives you valuable insight and guidance.

There are three types of Pinterest analytics, but today we will be going over Pinterest profile analytics.

There are four sections to your Pinterest profile analytics metrics.

  • Impressions
  • Shares (Repins)
  • Clicks
  • All-Time

Impressions:  An impression is the number of times a Pin from your profile appears on Pinterest home feeds, category feeds, and searches.  Your average monthly viewers are the number of times anyone has seen your Pin from their home feed.

How does understanding your impressions analytics enable you to make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

The Pins that have the most impressions represent the things that people are regularly searching.  Knowing which pins and their categories can help you to save and share similar Pins, which will, in turn, help you to grow your reach on Pinterest and convert a larger audience.

Shares (Repins):  The number of times a person saves your Pins to their boards.

How does understanding your shares analytics enable you to make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

When you can see which Pins are being saved and shared the most, you can determine what your audience finds most interesting about your boards and content.  Knowing which Pins perform best can help you understand how to post similar relevant content from your blog or website as well as what to share with others to keep your audience coming back.

Clicks:  The number of clicks Pins on your profile have received.

How can understanding your clicks analytics help you make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

HOW Pinterest CAN GROW YOUR BLOG

By knowing which of your Pins receive the most clicks, you can determine which content other people want to learn more.   Again, when you know which content is performing the best, you can curate similar content from others as well as cater your content to serve the demands of your audience.

All-time:  The all-time analytics page includes several aspects of your metrics including:

  • The most saved Pin on your page since the beginning of your Pinterest account.
  • Pins which performed best in search, or, Pins which rank high in searches
  • Pins which have the most meaningful engagement; using a combination of data based on likes, comments, sends shares, etc.

How can understanding your all-time analytics help you make improvements to your Pinterest performance?

How to make the most of your Pinterest profile analytics #socialmedia #digitalmarketing #pinteresting Click To Tweet

Looking at the big picture of which Pins have performed best from the start of your Pinterest account can help you to improve the quality of your pins including improved descriptions with high-quality keywords, the use of Rich Pins and providing strong links to the content you’re looking to share.

Have you checked out your Pinterest Profile Analytics information lately?  Where can you make some improvements?  What is working for your right now?

Sources used for this article.

Diaphragmatic Breathing For A Stronger Core and Pelvic Floor Muscles

Benefits of Diaphragmatic Breathing _ Erin's Life Bites

Diaphragmatic breathing strengthens core and pelvic floor muscles

It’s probably not the hottest topic of conversation, but many women – particularly new Mums – struggle with weak core and pelvic floor muscles.  And the side effects of a weak core and pelvic floor muscles can be very frustrating when starting out a new fitness regimen.

Weakened core and pelvic floor muscles can also lead to back pain, and poor sleeping exacerbates pressure, specifically of the lower back and excessive lifting, bending and squatting motions.

Why diaphragmatic breathing is important

Mums are regularly lifting and turning every day, and the loads get heavier as time goes on, so a strengthening up your back’s support system (the core, hips, and pelvic floor muscles) is a must.

Although it is best to speak with your doctor about a which muscles are needing some fine tuning, there are some basic pelvic floor muscles strengthening exercises that can help strengthen not only your pelvic floor region but also the lower back and core.

Before starting the exercises, it is imperative to master proper diaphragmatic (or abdominal) breathing techniques as they are essential for correct form, increased coordination, and to prevent injury.  The proper breathing technique will not only help to strengthen the muscles but will also serve as an excellent time for relaxation and mental clarity.

Some additional health benefits of diaphragmatic breathing include:

  • Improved circulation
  • Increased respiratory fitness
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Reduced anxiety and stress levels
  • Improved core and pelvic floor muscle function

Start on your back with a pillow supporting your head and keeping your knees bent at a 90-degree angle.  Place one hand on your lower rib cage and upper abdomen and the other hand on the lower rib cage.

Breathing in slow and deeply,  feel your belly rise to meet your hand – breathing into the abdomen.  To breathe out properly, exhale and feel the rib cage return to a resting position.  Once you begin to master the breathing technique you can remove your hands and place them at your side to breathe on your own.

Benefits of Diaphragmatic Breathing for a Stronger Core and Pelvic Floor Muscles #WomensHealth #Coach #Core Click To Tweet

Start by practising this breathing technique for one minute and build up to 3-5 minutes.  As well, once this breathing technique is mastered, you should begin to add in performing this method in an upright, seated position

Here is a video showing the technique and some of the benefits of diaphragmatic breathing for strengthening the core muscles.  (via TheBelleMethod)

This breathing technique is beneficial anyone struggling with a weakened core and pelvic floor muscles, not just mums.  However, if you’re a new mum, it is always wise to check with your physician to be you are ready for any and exercises you perform.

30 minute functional boot camp workout _ erin's life bites
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Have you tried out diaphragmatic breathing techniques?  If so, have they helped you?

**This post was originally featured on RowdyRoddy.com