Why I’m Happy, My Husband Pointed Out My Worst Quality

Why I’m Happy, My Husband Pointed Out My Worst Quality

Why I’m Happy, My Husband Pointed Out My Worst Quality (And why it’s not a BAD thing.) For the 12 years before marrying my husband, Luke, I jumped from one unhealthy relationship to another. I always had something missing in every relationship. I had something missing alright, but it wasn’t the need for a boyfriend. I needed to find meaning in my life and work through the issues which were causing me to be so lonely and miserable. The importance of being alone I have had some DARK times in the past half decade.  I lost my father,  lost my sense of identity, and for a short while, lost hope that I could ever be happy or find a healthy connection with another human being.  I would push people away like it was my job, but I never understood I WAS PUSHING myself away from those people by being destructively passive-aggressive, which not only brought the worst out in myself but also brought out the worst in my partners. Why was I destructively passive aggressive?  Well, because for the majority of my relationships I was depressed, anxious, unhappy, and suffering from an eating disorder. As well, every time I got out of… View Post
Is Social Media a Mirror of Discontent?

Is Social Media a Mirror of Discontent?

As an American living abroad during the past two election cycles, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated with the state of things back home. To say things are toxic would be an understatement. It seems like everywhere you turn, people are at odds with each other about everything. “Things are changing, get over it.” Before I became a coach, I used to be one of those folks who walked around thinking, “just get over it.” However, these days it is my opinion, and the belief of many great scholars, thinkers, and leaders before me that love and compassion are necessities for living an honest and substantial life. And the truth is; I couldn’t do this without being more loving and compassionate to myself. Self-compassion is something with which the majority of us struggle. It’s much easier to beat ourselves up about our perceived failures or prop ourselves up for our perceived strengths while comparing ourselves to the faults and advantages of the other people than it is, to be honest with ourselves. When we evaluate ourselves so stringently, it doesn’t just stay with us. When we are cutting towards ourselves, we tend to be less kind to others in turn.  I’ve… View Post
5 Tips for Handling Constructive Criticism

5 Tips for Handling Constructive Criticism

I can tell you — for a fact — that there is probably nobody who struggles with criticism more than I do.  In fact, if you were to ask any of my former employers, they would all probably say that “being defensive” was the one quality about me they struggled with the most. Nobody likes criticism. I used to have a severe problem with acting like a victim. I always felt like I was being “attacked” for something.  From the biggest to the smallest of things, I did not like to take ownership for my part — or worse — be told how I should have handled things. I used to become incredibly defensive and angry at anybody who would give me the slightest bit of constructive feedback because I always felt it was unnecessary. I’ve grown to learn that criticism is a necessity. Even though we each will receive a fair bit of less than desirable feedback in our lives, there is no need to feel threatened, defensive, or ashamed of it. It’s all part of breaking away from our comfort zone. You may have your own criticism triggers. I know that I still struggle with mine; the question, “Why… View Post
30-Minute Functional Boot Camp Workout

30-Minute Functional Boot Camp Workout

I love functional fitness workouts. What is functional fitness you might be asking? Functional exercises are moves which aim to allow for the body to adapt to daily activities with proper form to prevent injuries while building strength, improving strength and coordination. Even if you think that utilising workouts designed to enhance functional strength and agility are not going to help you reach your goals, you might want to re-think it.   According to the American Chiropractic Association, low back pain is the leading cause of disability worldwide and is also the number one reason for calling out of work as well as the second reason for doctors visits. One of the best ways to prevent back (and shoulder and neck) pain is to engage and strengthen the muscles throughout the body.  And one of the best ways to work on building stamina and flexibility is to engage in workouts that use functional exercises to ensure that even those of us who sit at a desk for most of the day can do so with proper posture. As you continue to read this blog, you will discover that I am a massive fan of boot camp and circuit training styles of… View Post
What I learned When I  Quit Crash Dieting

What I learned When I Quit Crash Dieting

Crash dieting used to feel like my full-time job. Every time I tried to give notice, the insecurity over not trusting myself enough around food stopped me. It felt familiar.  Crash dieting was second nature. And so was my self-doubt and dissatisfaction with my body. I tried every crash diet, pill, potion, cleanse whathaveyou over the nearly two decades of my toxic relationship with food and my body. So, I tried something radical (for me):  I simply quit crash dieting. What do I consider ‘crash dieting’? Anything extreme – as in the polar opposite of whatever way a person may have been eating – and with strict parameters (i.e. cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon ‘cleanses’; celebrity juice diets, ‘detox’ pills/shakes, etc.). I’ve worked with clients who would rage over not losing weight fast enough when they lived on celery juice Monday through Friday — and then drank bottomless glasses of merlot and the brunch buffet all weekend long. There is no need to do all of that black and white restrictive crap, and it is the one way I would say you will likely not keep the weight off if you continue your relationship with food in this way.… View Post