New Ways Can’t Open Old Doors

New Ways Can’t Open Old Doors

Did you read that title correctly? Did I write that title correctly? Isn’t it, “old ways won’t open new doors”? But I saw this quote a few times last week and thought it was the universe’s way of letting me know I had to at the very least think about it. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about how my mind wanted to read it as, “new ways can’t open old doors.” When I wholeheartedly decide to make a change in my life – commit to it full-throttle – I find that I can’t go back. Sure, I could go back, but something inside of me always reroutes my urge. For example, when I decided to give up alcohol for good, I took it one day at a time and made a pact with myself that I would not allow the overwhelm of saying, “I’m never going to drink again.” I know that I don’t want to and for the first six months that was enough for me to stick with my commitment. Now, 19 months in, I find that I no longer have the impulse to have a drink when I’m stressed or upset. The… View Post
The Confusing Cognitive Distortion of Quitting Drinking

The Confusing Cognitive Distortion of Quitting Drinking

When you quit drinking, you stop waiting. -Caroline Knapp, Drinking, A Love Story In most facets of life, we are encouraged to not think in polarised – black and white or ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking. These are formally known as cognitive distortions Cognitive distortions are ways that our mind convinces us that a particular belief about ourselves is true, despite contrary evidence that it is not. Living in the grey is logical for most of life’s wonderment. We have to be flexible and open-minded to live in contrast and to attain personal growth. This is true except for that which does not positively serve you. If you want to honour your highest self – your soul consciousness, aka you who is always there, but often disconnected due to your Ego’s interference – you must choose things that serve you and enable you to grow in positive alignment with your path. When it comes to alcohol (or anything that is an addictive component in your life), living in the grey is not an option for some people. So, it’s a confusing cognitive distortion. via GIPHY One cognitive distortion for some drinkers is that they can limit or cut back on how much –… View Post
When Not Drinking Makes Others Uncomfortable

When Not Drinking Makes Others Uncomfortable

When I decided to stop drinking, I understood that coming as a shock to people who know me. I had always been down for cocktails, wine, and drinking socially (and non-socially). So, when I would meet up with people and the conversation of alcohol came up, it would be a needle scratch on the record moment when I would order a diet soda instead of a large glass of cabernet. “ARE YOU PREGNANT?!” No. “ARE YOU DYING?!” No, I mean – we all are, technically, but not yet. “ARE YOU ERIN?!” Now, that’s just rude. I expected this knee-jerk reaction from people who had ever spent any amount of time with me. It was a shock to their system in addition to mine. Then comes the secondary questions: “ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC?!” I prefer to not label it as such, but my relationship with alcohol was no longer working for me. “WHY DON’T YOU JUST CUT BACK?!” Been there, done that. It didn’t make sense just to cut back. “ARE YOU NEVER GOING TO DRINK AGAIN?!” I am not a psychic. If I could predict the future, I would have far more interesting insights than whether or not I’m ever… View Post
Happy Sober October!

Happy Sober October!

Does the thought of this gif make you not want to try a month of sobriety? via GIPHY It doesn’t have to be that way (and spoiler alert: it’s not!). For me, every month is a sober month. But for others, Sober October is a month to hit pause on the booze and explore life without hangovers for 31 days. What is Sober in October? Sober October is a charity event where people agree to go alcohol-free for the 31 days of October while raising money for organisations such as MacMillan Cancer Support. The challenge isn’t about giving up drinking for life (although, some people ultimately choose to!). The Sober October challenge encourages a change in drinking habits and to explore how the behavioural lifestyle change could reap long term health benefits. I may be a bit biased (ahem), but life without alcohol is pretty enjoyable. I highly encourage giving it a try. And believe me, when I say this; if I could give up drinking alcohol for the past 576 days, ANYONE could give it up for 31! I’ve decided to dedicate the month of October to offering support to those looking to change their relationship with alcohol. This… View Post
Attending My First Sober Wedding in 18 Years

Attending My First Sober Wedding in 18 Years

If something bad happens, you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens, you drink to make something happen -Charles Bukowski . Even though I am a married woman, I’ve never been much of a fan of weddings. For some, the environment of weddings is hopeful and inspirational and for others – like me – weddings are full of questionable energy and an open bar – not the best of combos. I am just back from a two-week trip to America with my husband built around the celebration of my little sister’s wedding. It wasn’t my first trip back home since I quit drinking, but it was the first wedding I had attended since I boarded the sobriety wagon. Incidentally, it’s also the first summer in five years that I have been able to hit the beach – and get a tan! Every wedding I’ve attended in the past two decades – including my own – I drank at — a lot. I always believed that was what people go to a wedding for – and I know more than once I’ve heard people say that the ‘open… View Post