There are plenty of things that can make you feel good, but one of the more powerful influences is how confident we feel. If we have it, then the whole world seems open to us, we’re able to make our plans come true, and so on. When we don’t have it, it can seem like we’re always just a couple of steps behind, we don’t feel quite as good, we’re less assertive, etc. And one of the challenging things about confidence is that it can be tricky to pin down. There are things you can do that’ll move your confidence levels in the right direction, however. Check out these four tips for improving your confidence. WHAT’S KNOCKING IT? When working to help improve your confidence, it’s worthwhile looking not just at the things you can add to your life to push it in the right direction, but also what you need to lose. If you take a close look at your life, you might find that there are a couple of factors that are keeping it down. It could be that you lose confidence through a mistake you keep repeating, or that the people you’re spending time with are putting you… View Post
In the twenty-first century, we are busier and more on the go than ever, making it more challenging to find the time and space to unwind. Relaxing means being able to take time for yourself to follow your pursuits. Understanding how you can relax is a difficulty in itself. You might be struggling with an overbearing boss at work, or you might have family issues, or you might be anxious about a relationship. This can give you minimal headspace for anything else. However, follow these three simple steps, and you can find your way to a relaxing and more tranquil existence. Short Bursts of Relaxation Forget about worrying about the number of hours you have in a day to complete tasks. It can be tricky to find extended periods of time to dedicate to your own hobbies and passions. However, smaller chunks of time can be more manageable to accommodate and dedicate to more relaxing moments. Even if you are snowed under at work, you can take ten minutes out of your day to head outdoors for a walk. Getting out in the fresh air can be beneficial mentally, emotionally and physically. Natural sunlight can help regulate your body clock, help you… View Post
By nature, people do not like ultimatums. They are threatening, limiting, and just plain passive aggressive. So, imagine how terrible it is when you give yourself one ultimatum, or worse, many. For some people — especially perfectionists and black and white thinkers — giving ultimatums is a way of life. Even though it may seem like ultimatums are a motivational tool they are very self-destructive. I know because I used to give myself ultimatums. Frequently. It was part of my “all or nothing” thinking. Either I was going to get “x,” or I’d never get “y” . In fact, here are some examples of ultimatums I used to give myself on a regular basis. “Either this guy is “the one,” or I’m through with dating.”“Either I get this promotion, or I’m quitting.”“Either I stick to this diet, or I’ll be a failure forever.” Those are all pretty threatening, limiting, and passive aggressive, right? So, why would I do this to myself? Why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change When I would propose these scenarios to myself, I was literally retaliating against myself. By only ever give myself the choice between complete success or total failure, I would unconsciously… View Post
Why I’m Happy, My Husband Pointed Out My Worst Quality (And why it’s not a BAD thing.) For the 12 years before marrying my husband, Luke, I jumped from one unhealthy relationship to another. I always had something missing in every relationship. I had something missing alright, but it wasn’t the need for a boyfriend. I needed to find meaning in my life and work through the issues which were causing me to be so lonely and miserable. The importance of being alone I have had some DARK times in the past half decade. I lost my father, lost my sense of identity, and for a short while, lost hope that I could ever be happy or find a healthy connection with another human being. I would push people away like it was my job, but I never understood I WAS PUSHING myself away from those people by being destructively passive-aggressive, which not only brought the worst out in myself but also brought out the worst in my partners. Why was I destructively passive aggressive? Well, because for the majority of my relationships I was depressed, anxious, unhappy, and suffering from an eating disorder. As well, every time I got out of… View Post
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