Why Giving Yourself Ultimatums Will Never Motivate You to Change

Why Giving Yourself Ultimatums Will Never Motivate You to Change

By nature, people do not like ultimatums. They are threatening, limiting, and just plain passive aggressive. So, imagine how terrible it is when you give yourself one ultimatum, or worse, many. For some people — especially perfectionists and black and white thinkers — giving ultimatums is a way of life. Even though it may seem like ultimatums are a motivational tool they are very self-destructive. I know because I used to give myself ultimatums. Frequently. It was part of my “all or nothing” thinking. Either I was going to get “x,” or I’d never get “y” . In fact, here are some examples of ultimatums I used to give myself on a regular basis. “Either this guy is “the one,” or I’m through with dating.”“Either I get this promotion, or I’m quitting.”“Either I stick to this diet, or I’ll be a failure forever.” Those are all pretty threatening, limiting, and passive aggressive, right? So, why would I do this to myself? Why giving yourself ultimatums will never motivate you to change When I would propose these scenarios to myself, I was literally retaliating against myself. By only ever give myself the choice between complete success or total failure, I would unconsciously… View Post